I think I’ll quit teaching and be a pirate. 
Pirate Derek
November 2, 2008
October 28, 2008
Back To Science Class, Already!
Amidst the ongoing battle against “Intelligent Design” (talk about oxymorons) we have today’s sample of “(Un)Intelligent Meteorology”:
October 22, 2008
SM 5, SP 0: F-f-f-f-fashion…
Oops.
No, seriously … take a close look at that scarf Miss Wasilla’s wearing. Never mind its ugliness …
Sphagnum Moss 4, Palin 0: Are You Smarter Than A 3rd-Grader?
My favorite comment on this one (and I wish I’d thought of it first) was from the ever-rampaging Keith Olbermann: “Are You Smarter Than A Third-Grader?”
Me, well, to dust off an old Faux slogan … we’ll report. You decide.
The question, from a real-life third-grader: “What DOES the Vice-President do?”
Aw, that’s something that Piper would ask me, as a second grader, also. That’s a great question, Brandon, and a Vice President has a really great job, because not only are they there to support the President’s agenda, they’re like a team member, the teammate to that President. But also, they’re in charge of the United States Senate, so if they want to they can really get in there with the Senators and make a lot of good policy changes that will make life better for Brandon and his family and his classroom. And it’s a great job and I look forward to having that job.
Now, being a teacher, who has known a lot of third-graders (many of them very bright, impudent, and loving nothing more than to play Stump-The Teacher) I’d like to think I’d have been bright enough to step around that big old beartrap. (On nationwide TV, no less.) And having once been a bright, smartassed third-grader myself (and an annoyingly overliterate one at that – just ask Mom) I can easily imagine the sparks crackling through that kid’s brain, as he sets the trap for yet another ignorant, patronizing adult floating around eight miles above her Peter Principle point … who can’t IMAGINE any third-grade kid actually KNOWING anything.
Even if it’s a basic fact of American civics that said smartass could dig up via an instant’s Googling of “U.S. Constitution.”
(I do so envy smart kids today … they don’t even have to walk all the way to the library anymore, let alone scrape off dust and barnacles from ancient two-ton encyclopedias. And then, if they’re particularly bright and/or vindictive, they can even YouTube the whole thing and rub salt in the wound. Has there ever been a better time in history to be a juvenile gadfly?)
October 17, 2008
October 16, 2008
John Cleese weighs in on the Funniest Palin.
Now this one was probably inevitable from the beginning, ever since some intrepid Monty Python fan put up the Michael Palin for President page. having sat back on the sidelines for a while, John Cleese has now chipped in his tuppence about our inimitable Miss Wasilla. I particularly like the fact that he has the grace to apologize to his colleague for no longer considering him the “funniest Palin”. Not to mention his point about parrots:
Naturally, we can all be forgiven for calling to mind a few of Cleese’s previously expressed thoughts on the subject.
October 15, 2008
Lightening the Wheelbarrow…
I’m also pleased to report that the Korean won has regained some ground from its horrific skid last week, though not enough to be out of the woods just yet.
Today it closed at 1240 per US dollar, although that was a slight fall after four straight days of gain following last Thursday’s low.
Better. But I’m not planning to make any wire transfers this month, regardless … the bailout news has set a relative calm over the tides for the time being, so I plan to wait until next payday (coincidentally, the day after Election Day in the US) and see what happens.
You never know – everyone might just come to their senses for a bit.
Sphagnum Moss 3, Palin 0 (Bonus Black-is-white point)
Okay, I know I’m a day or two behind on this, but it’s worth posting anyway … just because it’s so telling.
The “Troopergate” report finally came out, despite all attempts to stop it. The Alaska Legislative Council charged with the task (comprising mainly Republicans, by the way) voted unanimously to release it.
Finding Number One?
“For the reasons explained in section IV of the report, I find that Governor Sarah Palin abused her power by violating Alaska Statute 39.52.11(a) of the Alaska Executive Branch Ethics Act.
“The legislature reaffirms that each public officer holds office as a public trust, and any effort to benefit a personal or financial interest through official action is a violation of that trust.”
Miss Wasilla’s response, during a brief, phoned-in Q&A with the local press:
“Well, I’m very very pleased to be cleared of any legal wrongdoing … any hint of any kind of unethical activity there. Very pleased to be cleared of any of that.”
And there you have it. Black is white. We told you so, after all.
The much-admired and praiseworthy Mudflats has the story here, for those who want a lengthier and wittier angle on it with local color thrown in. Alaska politics can be pretty darn amusing on its own, but it’s even better when told from underneath the pile.
October 9, 2008
The Bluegrass Vote: Ralph Stanley Endorses Obama.
Boy, I can’t wait for the “Shut Up And Sing” crowd to react to this one …
We’re all used to the usual lineup of celebrity Democrat endorsements – actors, rock stars, the inevitable/insufferable Barbra Streisand. As well as the occasional token right-wing contrarian (Bruce Willis, Alice Cooper, Neil Young’s 1980 endorsement of Ronald Reagan) or outright wingnut (the insufferable/inexplicable Ted Nugent).
But when was the last time anybody heard from the bluegrass community?
Well, guess what, friends and neighbors: that criminally neglected demographic has raised its voice in Virginia. Ralph Stanley is out with this ad endorsing Barack Obama:
I don’t know about anyone else, but I’d say this thing is about over.
(And as crass and tasteless as it may seem, I can’t help picturing Ralph showing up at a McCain rally and launching into “Oh Death” … but Ralph’s too much of a class act for that.)
